I love Philly in the summer. a lot.
This past week, I have been inundated with 'man' culture. I had two homeless boys (i.e. friends) living in my living room. Spent the majority of my evenings watching professional sporting events and generally was only able to hang out with a small number of fellow females. The result of all this boy stuff? a lot of fun. probably the most fun week I have had this summer so far. But by the end of it all, following a disappointing evening at smokes (the magic lost) in which I was one girl in a group of six boys, I was complaining to my friends that I felt that people were beginning to think of me as less of a girl.
I think that in a very simplified way, this experience is very much a microcosm for the process and anxiety of crossing cultures. I'm going to preface this with a warning that what follows is going to present an extremely reduced view on man/woman culture (basically the type of attitudes/interests/etc which American culture says that men/women should be interested in). My excuse is that I'm really not interested in talking about what constitutes male/female american culture but want to make some general observation about intersecting cultures. Obviously, I am not unfamiliar with 'boy culture'. I have a brother, played sports during my childhood, went to co-ed schools, live in normal society, etc. Although I wouldn't describe myself as a girly girl and can usually relate to men, I am fully aware that many of the things that I enjoy immensely are unappealing/uninteresting to the majority of guys I know. For example, I aspire to own one of those really small, useless dogs (toy poodle/maltese/bichon frise/yorkshire terrier) and enjoy shows like "Sex and the City"/"The Hills." The point being there are numerous ways that I perceive myself to be part of a certain culture, which most people would affirm me in, that is not man culture.
And thus begins my realizations: perception is one of the main things that continues to make interactions across different cultures problematic. The problem of course is that for minorities, the very process of intentionally interacting with different people, especially those who are part of a dominant culture, can result in a very real shift in how 'much of a minority' they are perceived to be. Thus, my concern that by spending too much time with men I would somehow become less of a women. I think the fact that terms like "twinky," "oreo" or "coconut," among others, are fairly casually applied demonstrates the extent to which cultural interactions come at a cost. Yadda yadda, it's hard to be a minority, cry me a river... But before you tune out, I think that unity is something that is really close to God's heart and I think that this emotional response, the fear of being seen as less of who we think we are, is one of the biggest impediments to that.
Yesterday, I went to see Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the author of Half of a Yellow Sun, at the Philadelphia Library. 1) read this book please...(btw why didn't i learn any African history at any point in my college or high school career!?!?!?! FAIL.) 2)During the q and a session after her talk, she spoke a little bit about her experiences with black americans as a Nigerian immigrant. One key thing that she highlighted that she initially sought to differentiate herself from black americans because of their position within society. Thus, in very much the same way that I wasn't particularly eager to be seen as a boyish girl, she resisted being viewed as a black-american -ish immigrant.
I don't really have a deep analysis of these observances. But I will say that I would be willing to bet that this fear of being seen as something other than what we are probably prevents a lot of cross cultural interactions. Just saying...
Good songs:
"Lightworks" by DOOM
"Cinder and Smoke" by Iron & Wine
"Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" by Lady Gaga
Saturday, June 13, 2009
If I Were a Boy: Beyonce and one girl's experience crossing cultures
Posted by Sarah S at 10:21 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
i like your observations ... and i think that the fear you mentioned (of being seen as something we are not), it magnified in the black/white american cultural intersections, even more so than others. i think the reason for that is because race is so politicized in american culture (whether people are particularly eager to admit it or not) and therefore a signifcant part of what it means to be black or white in america has to do with privilege. a huge part of what it means to be white in america is to occupy a place of privilege, which gives rise to many of the other cultural patterns of white americans (like the preoccupation with owning/taking care of our pets or playing mad expensive sports like tennis/skiiing). conversely, part of what it means to be black in american culture is to occupy a place of disadvantage. without structural changes in the way black and white americans occupy spaces of privilege, these parts of culture are, for the most part, fixed. because of these immutable parts of what it means to be black or white, the parts that you can change become sort of overloaded with meaning. it becomes another form of injustice that white people can enjoy all types of "black" things, like hip hop music, clothing styles, manners of speaking, etc, and yet remain in a space of privilege, while black people who adopt "white" mannerisms will never fully move themselves into a space of white privilege. therefore, the fear for minorities especially, i think, is that by "crossing cultures" you are losing your culture and not even getting the return -- just the animosity of other minorities and the foolishness of white people calling you an oreo and accepting you on the presumption that you want to be just like them.
p.s. we should hang out this week ...
i like your observations too...but i'm not going to write you a whole book like laurabeth did. :)
i will say that i relate with your experience with spending time with guys a lot, and that i'm glad summer time in philly is going well.
So I'm thinking about my Life as a Male Nurse in relation to your post, and I think you're dead on.
See, I've never really struggled with feeling like I was becoming "too much of a woman" by being in nursing. In fact, I've actually come to the place where I feel my masculinity is enhanced by my participation in an almost entirely female profession.
Is that pretty much exactly what we're talking about here with white people taking part in black culture being a completely different experience than black people taking part in white culture?
I'm struggling to draw conclusions as well. Obviously there is simply the need to understand what a threat to personal identity it can be for a minority person (female, black, etc...) to be involved in my culture... But I guess I can't come up with anything along the lines of "one of us needs to think more like this." Meh...
For what it's worth, Sarah Stew, I honestly have come to think of you as more and more black, and more and more female the more I've gotten to know you. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, but I felt it was worth affirming.
Post a Comment