How to Make Black Friends #2: Know some slang!

(this is me procrastinating)

So I have been reading all day today. And am bored with being productive.

I had an interesting interaction this past saturday night. I saw one of my friends standing in line at Smoke's and she had a very unhappy expression on her face. So I said "Dane, what's with the stank face?" There was this random girl standing between us and she was like 'haha what is stank?' and I had to explain it to her. It was just rather surprising to me because I thought that word was fairly integrated in american society as a whole but I guess not. I have definitely never been someone who used a large amount of slang but I think there are probably a couple of words/phrases that are almost universally understood or used by black people that I also use. I have taken the liberty of defining a couple of these phrases/words and used excerpts from real conversations that I have with my friends. So take notes:

1. Stank-n./adj., most commonly used to refer to an unfriendly or snobby demeanor.
Examples:
"No one likes him. He is so stank."
or
"She's actually nice. she just looks stank."
2. Talking To- v., refers to the state of heavy flirtation that comes before dating. This could describe anything from two people simply expressing interest in one another to actually going on dates to hooking up. An important aspect of 'talking to' is that usually it describes something which is a well known fact (i.e. not secret).
Examples:
"I can't believe you're talking to someone from that frat"
"I'm not. I'm not talking to anyone."
or
"Last year he was talking to this other girl in my grade."
3.Jumpoff-n. someone of the opposite sex who is attractive but for whatever reason is not dateable usually as a result of a lack of respectability (this is the sense my friends and I use it but it does have a more explicit meaning).
Example:
"Adam* is boyfriend material, Jack* is just a jumpoff"
*names changed to protect the identity of the speaker
4. Dust-n/adj. a term almost exclusively used by my closest black friends (although it is gaining popularity campus wide). It is a way of describing any behavior that is clingy or stalkerish or generally demonstrating a lack of self-respect concerning a romantic interst. Judi Dench's performance in "Notes on a Scandal" is the perfect example of this type of behavior. Additionally, dust or the word asbestos can refer to a pathetic love life.
Examples:
"I was feeling rather dusty today. I spent two hours on facebook looking at his photos."
or
"Were you just sitting in your room by yourself listening to 'Free yourself' by Fantasia? You are so dusty."
or
"I have terminal asbestos, there is no cure."
or
"Whenever we get in a fight he goes into his room and listens to Bright Eyes"
"Ugh, that's pathetic. Dust and cobwebs."

These are the words that I use the most....so if you're reading this looking for black friends, you can probably be friends with me lol.

On another note, I'm in a poetry writing course right now so my poetry might be making a comeback yay...(or nay?)....

And finally, if I were a British pop singer, I think I would be Lily Allen. Pretty sure on that one.