"I Had a Dream"

So my friend Karen gave me a bunch of christian CDs when I saw her in August. This gift has led me to the following conclusion: Christian Rap will never catch on. never. There's really no way for it to get any better in the future than it has been in the past. The production quality is just so bad and outdated. Which makes sense because a rap track from a big name producer (i.e. someone who produces stuff ppl like) like the Neptunes or Scott Storch or Timbaland costs far more then most Christian artists make. If I end up with nothing to do after I graduate I'm seriously going to buy one of those cheap Casio keyboards and make christian rap.

Anyways, I fell asleep listening to this Christian rap group LaCrae who are awful btw. While I was asleep, I had this really creepy dream that a friend of a friend's girlfriend had an eating disorder (i don't know if this is true or not) and that he broke up with her because of it. But his reasoning was that she was being a bad g/f because she loved herself more than him and would rather try and look like a model than have a healthy relationship. Obviously, that whole thing doesn't make any sense but it of course made was perfectly logical while I was asleep.

I am only writing about this because the weird thing was that later today, I ended up having dinner with the friend whose friend was in the dream and he brought up eating disorders. Anyways, i don't really know anything about dreams but I feel like I've had many experiences where they have been useful in understanding things. I'm not going to go into the whole convo but there is so much death on this campus that it's not surprising that there are so many girls who experience such extreme alienation from their bodies. Btw, I mean death in the relational sense. Girls and boys are alienated from themselves because they don't know how to just be. Then as a result you get all these broken, dysfunctional relationships, both platonic and romantic. I would say that I'm an exception but I have pretty much been watching a few relationships wither since school started.

Speaking of relationships, I am advocating the abolition of the 'phantom relationship.' The phantom relationship is the phenomenon in which people assume that any pair of guy-girl friends are dating, thus placing them in relationships that are as shadowy and nonexistent as say....a phantom. In the past 3 days, I have been asked twice whether I was dating one of my male friends (a different friend each time). Similarly, over the summer one of my friends from high school who was working in the city called me and asked me if I had a secret b/f because some girl from Penn who was working at the same bank in the same division thought I was dating one of my guy friends. So I propose a solution. Why doesn't everyone just agree to tell their friends when they're dating ppl? Only you can prevent phantom relationships.

I am very happy for my friend Jennifer Rizzo (formerly Croson). Mainly because she is beautiful and has a beautiful marriage and a new, 9.2lbs, beautiful boy. But also because she is super badass and had a completely natural birth during which she still managed to text me that she was in labor haha. I will most definitely be having the drugs when the time comes. But I ALWAYS appreciate texts.